Just Keep Doing the Next Right Thing in Recovery

As we begin our journey into recovery from active addiction of any kind, it can seem hugely overwhelming at first – and for a long while after – to do life drug free. We nearly always end up doing ‘future thinking’ – imagining all the occasions in life where our drug used to live and fret (to say the least) about how we will cope in those moments went our drug won’t be there. Taken to the extreme, a good example of this is when a 21 year old alcohol addict entering recovery, say, worries about a child who does not even exist yet getting married 30 years from now and 

Continue reading...

Porn is the New Twisted Therapy for Porn Addicts

My research into porn addiction found that pornography is fast becoming a sort of twisted therapy for people in relation to any issues they have in their lives. For instance, a person could escalate to watching “mother and son” or “father and daughter” porn if that person has unresolved issues with a parent and was not dealing with it via more healthy routes such as talking therapies. One young man I came across in my research whose mother died when he was a child – watches “mother and son” pornography and can now no longer visit her grave because of the deep shame he feels. Black people can (and do) escalate to watching “racial humiliation” porn as a response to racist experiences in real life; people who are frightened of punk rockers or Goths often end up watching porn involving them; people who were bullied at school end up escalating to

Continue reading...

Loved Ones: Your First Duty is to Yourself

This blog post is aimed mainly at female loved ones of addicts. That is not to say that the co-dependent experiences of male loved ones of addicts are any less valid or any less painful  than female experiences. They are.  Or that the core message in this blog post does not apply to males. It does.  Just that females are conditioned in very different ways in our society to the way males are

Continue reading...

R.I.P. Pornography Historian Bill Margold


Billi Margold – porn historian, ex-porn performer and industry veteran, former Director of The Free Speech Coalition (the trade arm of the porn industry) and member of the AVN Hall of Fame – sadly – I’ve just heard – died on the 17th January this year aged 73 whilst he was in the middle of his radio show. There was a lot that I disagreed with when it came to Bill Margold’s views to do with the porn industry, but I DEEPLY RESPECTED the man for what he did to advocate for porn performers and why I am writing this blog post today.

Continue reading...

Why Porn Addicts Watch Underage Porn When They Are NOT Pedophiles

People on the Internet love flinging statistics around about how many people are watching porn online which involve children. Some say its 50%. Other speculate the figure is nearer 75%. Of course I understand why this question is given so much space. The most vulnerable in our world need to be protected at all costs and I absolutely  support that on every  level. Very few people though, ever ask WHY  porn viewers are watching underage porn and just take for granted that they MUST  be “sick pedophiles”.

Continue reading...

The Basic Science of Porn Addiction

There are 5 main brain chemicals associated with pornography addiction and each has their own function within pornography addiction. They are Dopamine, Adrenaline, Serotonin, Prolactin and Oxytocin.


Dopamine is the main chemical pushing porn addiction; is a “neurotransmitter” (which simply means “a chemical in the body

Continue reading...