Loved Ones: Are You Dehumanizing Your Addict?

dehumanizationLoved ones… Am I right about this… that you both deeply love, and deeply hate, your addict? If so, this is normal for the loved ones of active addicts. I mean, let’s face it, having an active addict in your life can be hell on earth at times. Especially if the person is coming to your door wanting to fleece you of not only your money and resources, but also your patience and positivity. Active addicts in the grip of

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What is “Hardcore Recovery for Rock Bottom Addiction”?

Andy Dufresne tastes freedon in the Shawshank RedemptionThe only recovery that REALLY sticks for the LONG term (and I mean a recovery where the person feels comfortable inside their skin not using and not a recovery where they are “white knuckling” life through gritted teeth and gagging to be able to use but can’t) is a recovery forged in the fire of a rock bottom of some description – may that be emotional, psychological and/ or physical. This is just a FACT. A person has to be utterly sick and tired of being utterly sick and tired of the way they are living in order to get to a place where they can say to themselves “I am willing to go to ANY lengths to recover.”

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The “Sins of the Father” and Active Addiction

The terms “Sins of the Father” or “Sins of the Fathers” derives from the Bible and refers to the sins (or iniquities) of one generation being passed onto another. These “sins” may be mild – like a bad habit – or severe – like beating up your children or partner. Both teach behavior patterns by example…. Or in other words: “Do as I do not as I say.”

Of course, when in active addiction, being present – even to ourselves – let

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My Top 3 Recovery Tools For Dealing With Stress in Recovery

Here’s my top 3 addiction recovery tools for dealing with stress of any description when in recovery:

1. Deep Breathing from the Stomach

Deep breathing from the stomach helps reduce stress almost instantly. By breathing deeply from the stomach, we automatically get our mind, body and spirit more in synch with each other. This then frees us up to come at any anxiety producing situation from a more balanced perspective.

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The Dark Passenger of Addiction

After working with, and being around, many thousands of active and recovering addicts through the years I have come to the conclusion that ALL addicts – when in escalating active addiction – are driven by what they, and myself, often term a “Dark Passenger”.

To be human means to have both a soul and a shadow self. The yin and the yang. This is what makes us human. This is the human condition. We are both Jekyll and Hyde when the situation calls for it. And this is normal. Each day we are given choices for which one we will be. What our choices are each moment then determines where we end up in life and in what kind of character – dark or light…

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Rock Bottom is Where the Magic Is

butterfly coming out of it's cocoonWhen addicts are at rock bottom with their addiction, they usually despair at their situation. Myself included back in the day. What addicts don’t realise though, at that most vulnerable point in their lives, is that rock bottom is always where the magic begins. Rock bottom is where we transform from a caterpillar of self-will-run-riot to a butterfly of surrender to our soul’s guidance.

When addicts (and the loved ones of addicts) are at rock bottom

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