The Agony – and Hope – of Rock Bottom Addiction

The man getting out of a taxi and accidentally exposing himself in a dressing gown in this photo is 49 year old alcohol addict Paul Gascoigne. Oh and he is also a former professional British soccer player who during his long and successful career earned 57 caps for England and was described by the English National Football Museum as “the most naturally gifted English midfielder of his generation.” For a time following his retirement from playing professional soccer, Gascoigne also coached professionally but his escalating alcohol addiction ended his coaching career and he hasn’t worked since 2005.

In this photo of Paul Gascoigne, who is obviously under the influence of alcohol, he had just gotten out of a taxi to go buy alcohol and cigarettes. To leave his home wearing just a dressing 

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Loved Ones: The “Three ‘Cs” You Need to Know About

Most, if not all, loved ones of escalating addicts – who are not in recovery themselves – become, over time, consumed with the idea of rescuing their addict from themselves and their addiction. This is, of course, understandable as to witness someone you love going downhill at breakneck speed and throwing their life and future away can be challenging at best and heartbreaking at worst. Sadly though, the cost to the loved ones of all this attempted rescuing is often the deterioration of their own mental, physical and emotional health.

So, if you are a loved one reading this and your health is going downhill as a result of the chaotic life choices of an addict in your life – and your

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“Fix-aholism” and “Care-aholism”: the Addictions of the Loved Ones of Addicts

Most loved ones of addicts have hidden addictions few people know about or understand. These addictions are “fix-aholism” and “care-aholism”. I define “fixaholism” as when someone becomes driven to distraction by the idea of “fixing” another person who they perceive as having a problem and does all they can to try and fix that person to the degree that they become mentally, physically and emotionally depleted over a period of time when their attempts at fixing doesn’t work and the person perceived as having the problem doesn’t change. And I define “careaholism” as when a loved one makes themselves mentally, physically and emotionally ill over a period of time doing for another what that person should be doing for themselves – usually at the expense of that person’s own needs.

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Relapse Can Be a Gift

Spring cleaning the mindRecovering addicts despair of themselves when they relapse. And for good reason. Relapse vomits all over the life of not only the addict themselves – but also everyone closely connected to that person – and many others to boot. But relapse is very much a part of recovery and that needs to be acknowledged – and even welcomed – by those with the wisdom to see past all the horrors that relapse brings. I would also go as far as to say that relapse can actually be a great gift to an addict too if the person comes at it with the right attitude once the dust has settled after a relapse.

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There is a Love and Sex Life After Porn Addiction

Let’s face it, once the drug of porn gets a person gripped, all intimacy and love with a real live person goes out the window doesn’t it? Because real people, when you are in the throws of porn addiction, are just “bad porn” right?

So what happens once the drug of porn is put down? How do you reconnect again with your partner in loving, sexual and sensual ways? The reality is that many recovering porn addicts (and their partners) are left crying out for direction on how to have a healthy relationship with their sexual selves and/ or with their loved one

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Loved Ones: The Importance of Boundaries and Decisions

Loved Ones… Your addict, when not in recovery from their wet, dry or behavioral addiction, is in a sort or feral state. Their number one priority, 99 times out of 100, is to get their needs met by any means necessary and everything else comes secondary to that – including your needs and the needs of your family. It is not that they are being intentionally selfish or out to get you. It is more about you being in the way of their speeding car and the nature of the beast of addiction that creates this state. Remember that a dark energy inhabits addicts prior to

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