“Fix-aholism” and “Care-aholism”: the Addictions of the Loved Ones of Addicts

Most loved ones of addicts have hidden addictions few people know about or understand. These addictions are “fix-aholism” and “care-aholism”. I define “fixaholism” as when someone becomes driven to distraction by the idea of “fixing” another person who they perceive as having a problem and does all they can to try and fix that person to the degree that they become mentally, physically and emotionally depleted over a period of time when their attempts at fixing doesn’t work and the person perceived as having the problem doesn’t change. And I define “careaholism” as when a loved one makes themselves mentally, physically and emotionally ill over a period of time doing for another what that person should be doing for themselves – usually at the expense of that person’s own needs.

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Relapse Can Be a Gift

Spring cleaning the mindRecovering addicts despair of themselves when they relapse. And for good reason. Relapse vomits all over the life of not only the addict themselves – but also everyone closely connected to that person – and many others to boot. But relapse is very much a part of recovery and that needs to be acknowledged – and even welcomed – by those with the wisdom to see past all the horrors that relapse brings. I would also go as far as to say that relapse can actually be a great gift to an addict too if the person comes at it with the right attitude once the dust has settled after a relapse.

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There is a Love and Sex Life After Porn Addiction

Let’s face it, once the drug of porn gets a person gripped, all intimacy and love with a real live person goes out the window doesn’t it? Because real people, when you are in the throws of porn addiction, are just “bad porn” right?

So what happens once the drug of porn is put down? How do you reconnect again with your partner in loving, sexual and sensual ways? The reality is that many recovering porn addicts (and their partners) are left crying out for direction on how to have a healthy relationship with their sexual selves and/ or with their loved one

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Loved Ones: The Importance of Boundaries and Decisions

Loved Ones… Your addict, when not in recovery from their wet, dry or behavioral addiction, is in a sort or feral state. Their number one priority, 99 times out of 100, is to get their needs met by any means necessary and everything else comes secondary to that – including your needs and the needs of your family. It is not that they are being intentionally selfish or out to get you. It is more about you being in the way of their speeding car and the nature of the beast of addiction that creates this state. Remember that a dark energy inhabits addicts prior to

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Saying a Long Slow Goodbye To My Last Drug

In the late 1990s, I became a vegan (which means you don’t eat anything that comes from something with a face) during the “mad cow disease” farming crisis here in the UK. Cows were shot in the head and then burnt in public and their suffering – as well as the suffering of the human victims of the disease – were plastered all over the news every day for months on end. I just couldn’t stomach being a part of a system which treated animals so shabbily anymore. It was a horrible chapter in British farming history.

I made the right choice for my soul back then but failed to make the right choices for my body.

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Dealing With Depression in Recovery

At some point in every addict’s recovery, we will experience some degree of depression. That’s just a given. Before I discuss that though, I need to say up front that I don’t personally go along with the current medical establishment’s huge list of types of depression believing that these lists/ types of depression are created to get as much profit from vulnerable people as drug companies can. Instead I will say that in my view, there are 3 types: mild, moderate and severe. I define ‘mild’ or ‘reactive’ depression as the low we experience as a result of something

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