The only recovery that REALLY sticks for the LONG term (and I mean a recovery where the person feels comfortable inside their skin not using and not a recovery where they are “white knuckling” life through gritted teeth and gagging to be able to use but can’t) is a recovery forged in the fire of a rock bottom of some description – may that be emotional, psychological and/ or physical. This is just a FACT. A person has to be utterly sick and tired of being utterly sick and tired of the way they are living in order to get to a place where they can say to themselves “I am willing to go to ANY lengths to recover.”
It is well known in recovery circles that if you can get away with using your drug you will – for AS LONG AS YOU CAN. Whilst a person can still conjure up a thousand and one EXCUSES (but NO real reasons) for numbing out the pain of life with their drug of choice, then they will keep using. And truthfully, if I could still get away with using the drugs of the past then I would still be using them too – because I am an addict and always will be – and life is painful and drugs do their job well… But I CAN’T get away with using them so I choose instead to be head first, lock, stock and barrel immersed in my recovery to prevent a repeat of the ultimate rock bottom I found myself in 20 odd years ago. Long story….
So, for those who are at the “jumping off place” in their addiction – that horrible but ultimately profoundly freeing place – where you can neither live with your drug nor without it – a “hardcore recovery” mindset then has to enter the fray. This is where all excuses for doing wet, dry or behavioral drug(s) are exposed to you and you know the only way you can be free from the prison you are in is by surrendering to the truth that you are a rip-roaring addict who needs to radically change.
Fortunately or unfortunately – whichever way you want to look at it – that “change” involves getting BRUTALLY honest with yourself about who you are and how you have been living etc and making the decision to do a COMPLETE overhaul of your psyche. Then you have to do a THOROUGH spring clean of your inner house – which is undoubtedly stinkin’ rotten filthy dirty and top to bottom filled with cobwebs, mothballs, dust and a minion or two… If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be worth your salt as a good old-fashioned addict. It just comes with the territory of Dark Passenger driven addiction.
Changing yourself like this though takes XXX EXTREME courage and something very few of us will EVER do in our lifetime. That is what is “hardcore” about PROPER recovery. It’s one thing to fight someone, beat them and feel powerful as a person… It’s another thing altogether to face the REAL self, admit what you see there and resolve to change it. This is where REAL courage comes in and is certainly NOT for wimps.
But you know what… the rewards for doing this radical surgery on the self (with the help of those like myself in the recovery movement) is breathtakingly wonderful. At the other end of the birth canal of the work it takes to free yourself from your own BS, is a life truly beyond your wildest dreams.