The terms “Sins of the Father” or “Sins of the Fathers” derives from the Bible and refers to the sins (or iniquities) of one generation being passed onto another. These “sins” may be mild – like a bad habit – or severe – like beating up your children or partner. Both teach behavior patterns by example…. Or in other words: “Do as I do not as I say.”
Of course, when in active addiction, being present – even to ourselves – let alone our children – is almost impossible. So to expect ourselves to then be conscious of what messages/ programming we are passing onto our children and to consciously and consistently vet ourselves to make sure we are passing on only healthy stuff is almost out of the question.
Even those who are not in active addiction have a hard time doing this though to be fair. Being as we are exposed to so much subliminal and subconscious programming constantly from our media drenched society about how to be/ how not to be etc, means very few of us get to a stage where we are the regular guardians of our own consciousness. Meaning that unless we are vigilant about what is being programmed into our psyche; we will become what our society/ tribe wants and needs us to be – to fit either’s agenda.
The beauty of recovery from active addiction is that we are presented with the opportunity to look back at who we have been and sift through the rubble of that broken life and commit to breaking the chains of the “Sins of the Father” imposed upon us by others.
Which is what a deeply damaged client of mine did as we came to the end of our 3 months of intense Skype therapy sessions recently. I write this on the day he is 100 days clean from many wet, dry and behavioral drugs and a lifetime of utter self destruction. This day falls on, not so ironically, a hugely significant day for him – Yom Kippur – which is about depriving oneself of pleasure… a day of atonement. “Have an Easy fast” Allen. But not too easy 😉 I am so very proud of what you have achieved these past 100 days. May your recovery continue to go from strength to strength.
Allen sent me a powerful YouTube video recently which captures both his pre-recovery life and the point I am making here about the “Sins of the Father.” The lesson? Do your best to escape the chains of addiction so your children, and your children’s children, do not have to be the recipients of generations of fucked-up horrors which can drive people to a life which resembles hell on earth.